embarrassed

today i felt embarrassed to be apart of malaysia, after reading news that was bombarded in every news paper regarding the arson attacks!

i understand some might believe that they're doing it for the right reasons, lets not even touch the topic on 'doing it for religion' because lets just face it, we may not even be well versed religion wise, 'akidah' is not strong or concrete enough, even if it is... this is not what knowledge is used for.

i believe that 'whomever responsible for this' may not even have family members especially kids! because if they did, then they are extremely selfish! not thinking about their kids, and the repercussions or consequences the kids in that generation would have to face.

all these is done to prove what exactly? are they even able to sleep better at night because of their actions?

i wonder.

thank goodness i've got mika's single 'rain' on repeat, making me blog without profanity.

on a different note, i think he really is a genius!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sknDfB3pJB8

astray

this is new for me, blogging while munching away at this hour. i was suppose to give up on all these binging issues, but i can't help it... food and me is the epitome of bff.

although today was suppose to be the starting of my working day i had to put it off for the moment, actually i'm not even sure when i'll be able to get back to work. see my dilemma is that i do not want to send baby A to nursery but to be taken care of by her kakak; and here comes the big issue - the agent that was suppose to get her documents sorted out 2 months ago is stupid and a liar! i mean the promises he makes and the dates he sets are all just purely cock and bull stuff.

anyhoo long story short i think she's only arriving on thursday, so yeah lets hope so.

i've been dreading the fact that we've been eating outside for lunches and all, not that i think my food or cooking is any better, but it is nice to eat home cooked food once in a while... so early in the morning, for baby A i managed to whip up 'pancakes' for her. then for lunch made 'sambal ayam' using only 1 fresh red chilli and lots of onions, and 'mackarel with taucu' with a side dish of broccoli & carrots for us both... was worried if she might not like the taste of these dishes but thank goodness she's got the flair for food too! phew.

then i decided, okay i might as well make full use of the time i had in my hands... took her out to o.u. and checked out some outlets for some last minute shopping before the sale ends! found cute little sunnies for her from parkson, absolutely love it; and more clothes, what else?!?

note to self before entering the mall was, only to window shop and head to the supermarket. that was totally what i had in mind, but i went totally astray! eeeeek!?!? what is wrong with me? don't the word 'self control' mean anything to me anymore?

in my defence i bought all these for her... that should count for something right? i didn't splurge on myself...

yada, yada, yada - had baskins and fought with her over my share, then headed home. pretty pleasant day.

before dinner we planned to go the market to pick up some goodies, that didn't go as planned as well... damn it, i've been neglecting my priorities!

hoping for a better planned day tomorrow. g'nite.

paranoia, as cordial can be?

i feel that paranoia is the devils best friend; its no longer idle hands.

every time you sit not wanting to think about anything, your mind starts wondering and questioning, especially when you have ample of time on your side.

you wonder, why this and that. why did your friend questioned you the way they did earlier, on your absence. why didn't they return your call, or smses. why aren't they making any effort to see you even if its only for 20 minutes. (see where this is going?)

that is why i think it is best to just keep your gap shut and keep your self occupied; at least you wouldn't start being paranoid over the smallest darnest things.

on a different note, even though you're in an extremely uncomfortable situation being surrounded by people you hardly dig, vice versa it's best to be cordial... as cordial can be. if they have no qualms, you shouldn't too. don't over react, they might use it against you. so be cordial. yes cordial, as cordial can be.

signing off - listening to the soulful voice of adele 'hometown glory'

labels

you are aware that some of your friends might not be friends with your friends, but once they've been introduced and hit it off they might become friends, right?

see here's the thing, i have never been a fan of labelling friends. for instance, i've been hanging out with a group of friends, and a new acquaintance is being introduced to them peeps, and gets along like really well, that would be super awesome! and if i have had an instance of having a fall out, i do not expect you to pick my side and just be friends with me. get me? or is this all too confusing?

it's sad to say that no matter how good of a friend you think you are, things will not go your way all the time and people in general do "talk" or so that's what they'd like to call it... and it gets back to you.

in this case i have been labelled as the "garang one" to some people, even others that of an acquaintance to me... and it got back to me. *sigh* i do admit, i am vicious only if i need to. totally become cougarish like okay not the best of animals to pick (might derive some misunderstanding that i'm some middle age woman prying on young boys! totally not..) tigerish only to protect the best interest of people i love, even myself for that matter.

here's the thing, some people i know likes to take ownership of friends, and they do not like mixing their cup of tea, get me? so they start making excuses for themselves not to introduce or bring their friends into the 'group'. funny how these little life pleasures work for them.

i'm just wishing you the best of luck, hopefully in due time you get what you're looking for - that inner peace, i hope.

listening to: OST the holiday - three musketeers by hans zimmer (an extremely talented man!)

out with the old, in with the new

it feels like it has been a decade since i last had an entry; yes for 2009 at least. i would like to blame it all on the fact that i have been extremely occupied with work, but that would mean i'd be lying! or the fact that i've been constantly keeping my self busy by cooking/reading/cleaning, or entertaining my baby at all times... *yes i do these things but not excessively more like in moderation*

so 09' is gone, towards the end i think the only thing i've been thinking about is to 'detox everything from it', not that i'm complaining about the the year, some good - some bad - some had holy smokes for an effect but all in all, it came and we conquered it. *amin*

you know, i feel that i have been taking the short way out, instead of writing is what i love doing, i tweet. yes, bored of hearing bout twitter? or fb status updates... i know, i know... but yes i succumbed to the social pressure (smiles sheepishly); but i must justify, it is convenient. 2010 is filled with all sorts of status updates on their new years reso - i somehow feel that it is best to do the walk instead of the talk. it's all about the yip-yapping.

this is refreshing! i do miss writing, even i might not have anyone reading it... it just makes me feel happy.

yes it is the 2nd day into jan, but am already looking forward to the second week of february towards all the action that we've been dying to have and a well deserved one, after all the hard work put into 2009. so long, now.

watching: julie & julia. "you can never have enough butter"