hush and listen

when one speaks to me about their problems and issues, i think the best thing to do is just to listen. not to get emotionally involved, cause that just takes its toll on you.

what do you think?

embarrassed

today i felt embarrassed to be apart of malaysia, after reading news that was bombarded in every news paper regarding the arson attacks!

i understand some might believe that they're doing it for the right reasons, lets not even touch the topic on 'doing it for religion' because lets just face it, we may not even be well versed religion wise, 'akidah' is not strong or concrete enough, even if it is... this is not what knowledge is used for.

i believe that 'whomever responsible for this' may not even have family members especially kids! because if they did, then they are extremely selfish! not thinking about their kids, and the repercussions or consequences the kids in that generation would have to face.

all these is done to prove what exactly? are they even able to sleep better at night because of their actions?

i wonder.

thank goodness i've got mika's single 'rain' on repeat, making me blog without profanity.

on a different note, i think he really is a genius!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sknDfB3pJB8

vintage shopping made her sad...

since last weekend, mom has been coming over to the house to see her cucu... well regardless whether she's asleep, wide awake, screaming, crying, singing or playing, mom will still make it a point to come.

but 2 days ago, she told me something that has been bugging her, and cried.

asked her what's goin on ma? and she told me, she felt bad.

on saturday when she came over with all her shopping bags, prancing, strutting, and showing all her new fancy dresses it was fun, but she felt like she was showing off *in her heart* i didnt't feel anything but i was excited and tried on her clothes too... but told her i wouldn't splurge as much no more... but we kept on trying and giggled away.

next day, as hubs and i had planned to splurge on some vintage clothings at shah alam with dahl n hani... well at least i did, he didn't... i must say its seriously worth it! hhahha... i find it pleasurable to spend that amount and come back with 3 plastic bags! cheaper to shop there than cha-tuk-chak! seriously.

so when mom was around i showed her everything, 'thinking she'd be excited for me' same mumbo jumbo!

that's when she felt bad for showing me all her new clothes and i only managed to shop at the bundle shop for that amount! she felt so guilty!

oh good lord she's so cute! i told her, mama it's the 'in' thing to wear vintage clothes now and what better way to buy these clothes, when it's bundled, we can go all nuts and splash on it...

it's a choice i made, and she felt sad...

i guess mothers will be mothers, so she gave me pocket money to splurge and do some shopping again... '*and so i did* teeeheee, the irony!

overrrrrated!

you know how people just use the term/label 'bff's' as easy as 1-2-3! and to certain extend mean it and some don't? i just seriously think, it's overrrrated!

that has been pissing me off. yes, i know some might think i'm having problems and all, i don't, i just think its overrrrrrated. that's all. you want to get your point across, so do i.

so stop. ok. and stop pretending that you even care. it's annoying. stop using people, taking full advantage of the whole situation and pretending that nothing is wrong. just stop. seriously.

you insignificant fool, pissing me more and more, all day - everyday!

when is enough, enough?

You ought to ask yourself this q once in a while. I totally understand that sometimes it’s hard for some to do so… that’s why I’ve had the statement on my msn, ‘selfish aren’t we?’. You might be wondering, what in the whole world am I blabbing about? Or not, could be either one… I’m not speaking metaphorically, I’m just asking frankly, when is enough, enough?

Just wondering how far one would go just to satisfy themselves, their needs, their wants… see where I’m going with this? Its all about fulfilling THEIR needs and wants, but what about those around you? Wouldn’t you be hurting someone along the way, just to fulfill your selfish wishes? Just so that you, don’t feel so lonely then?

These past few weeks people have been asking and wondering what in the hell is going on with me, and my msn status? PEOPLE, it is just a freaking status on MSN! I could be because I was listening to a song, referring to the haps around the world (if you’re not updated with the current issues, I suggest you do, stop living in your bubble!), watching a movie and got hooked on the dialogue… yes, it could be one of those, or I just simply want to put my thoughts down, is that so wrong? Why do you always think it’s about you? Are you being exactly like Meredith Grey? (from Grey’s Anatomy) SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY!! EVERYTHING IS NOT ABOUT YOU, OK!

I feel that to a certain extend I’ve been isolating myself from the social scene, not because I must, it’s just a choice I’m making. I guess I know, when to put a stop to things, maybe that’s how I know when I’ve had enough… what about you?

seriously? it's disgusting!

i've been rather lazy to blog ever since 2009. many have written their resos and what not mine is still just listed in my head. there's no need to advertise it, just baby steps in getting it all done.

there's just too many things happening way before we entered 09; especially the ugly truth on the Gaza war! seriously, it has made me so furious... as i was watching al-jazeera earlier today... it has been 19 days since the unfair war started, and approximately 4,300 Palestinians injured/ 970 casualties etc and only 13 israelis dead? i know i may not be good with numbers but come on?! you do the math.

it was stated by the israeli prime minister ehud olmert., we're not there to harm the civilians but only to retaliate to hamas... you kidding me? i seriously think this twat is a freaking wacko! how can you possibly sleep peacefully at night?

its such a sad thing to hear and read about... i think we're very fortunate not to have to endure this all together!

there is a little difference that we can make, a little contribution do check out the NSTP donation fund for the Palestinians, and stop supporting all products or brands associated to funding the israeli army! think the obvious ones would be coke, mcd's, starbucks and etc... you ought to do your part for this...

what the israeli army is doing is seriously disgusting and making me sick just thinking about it!!

When you’re surrounded by your loved ones, all your problems just seem to fade away, least for me. We organized a lunch date with our lovelies at spring garden to celebrate amir and malik’s birthday, yesterday. It was the usual group, our best travelling buds. It’s effortless.

Bought their strawberry fruit birthday cake from sun Moulin, a bakery in isetan, must admit the name of the shop is kinda sucky, but the cake was extremely light and refreshing compared to your average chocolate cake! Lunch was as usual, delicious as ever. My favorite restaurant had a major make over, but the food still tasted the same, just as good! As we arrived, the little bub was still wide awake, so I had to carry her in my arms and hummed for 15 minutes and sent her straight to la-la-land. It totally worked; she slept for a good 1 and a half hour! Letting her parents enjoy some quality time with their friends.

We managed to do a little shopping, bought some make up stuff, which I have been delaying! Been using those old almost dried up mascara, you know how it’s like, since the little one has been in my life, I have totally given up on my social life to be with her, but I can’t be looking ugly all the time. So I decided I should at least look pleasant la, for our little outings! Hehe…

We made a pit stop at the Gardens; hubs had to snap a couple of photos of the M&S concourse promotion for Christmas. For crying out loud, miss predator! (Nickname of the client) It’s a freaking weekend, and we’re having our usual family outing… can you please in god’s name just get there yourself and snap the photo on your own? I know it’s difficult for you to understand that we have a family, cause yours seems non-existent! Or maybe you just like these boys company? Which is what?

I think I’m right, my bro just confirmed it with me… when miss predator called, she suggested to my bro she wanted to walk around the Gardens with hubs! Haha… okay woman, good luck on getting him to agree. ;)

Got home, we were figuring out on how to use the little bubs carrier, I guess she looked at her father and I and thought we looked silly, so she decided to let us hear her FIRST GIGGLE! And she did it 3 times, but after hearing us laughing so loudly, she decided to stop. Apalah mommy ni excited for no reason?!

Started the day pretty early, it was such a pleasant one, till my maid came up to me and asked for my permission to go out for 2 hours. I looked at her and asked for what reason? She said to buy baju melayu, hmm… okay when you’re using that sort of an excuse for raya, it’s a bit difficult for me to deny it right? Benefit of the doubt!

*woosa, shereen, woosa*

I said ok, and ignored. Then I went downstairs, and told her reason why I said you could, is because tomorrow is raya. For any other month, or any other reason, you can forget about it! She looked innocently, and nodded. To be honest, I have trust issues with maids now, after hearing my girl friends side of the story! Her maid, who’s been taking care of her toddler at her mother in-laws place, apparently has been sneaking out of the house to go for her raunchy-sex-romp outings! THE NERVE RIGHT? She got herself pregnant, and got it aborted; mind you she wears tudung and is married? (not that I’m trying to be judgmental, bout her appearance and all, but have you got no shame and respect over yourself?) FUCKER! I was mad when I heard about this; the toddler is such a dear baby to us all… scares the living day light out of me.
Sometimes, you need not to ask yourself, why these maids actually get aggressively abused by their employers!

It’s wrong to be cruel, and worse when you’re nicer, with them.

Totally thinking twice about leaving the little bub with mine, I have another wedding to attend to this Friday! Argh! Makes me want to bail out last minute, but that’s pretty mean. I think I would just get my parents to come over and keep an eye on her for a couple of hours.

But what happens when we move out to a new office space? ARGH!

*woosa, shereen, woosa*

I better stop thinking, and writing. Its driving me mad mad mad!

listening to: take it slow by estrella (on repeat like a 1000 times)

i think at times, you should just 'shut it'!

you know as you grow older, you're expected to just accept disappointments in life. there will be things that would not just go your way, even though you'd like it to. there are just some things that will go beyond your control, and it sucks!

i'm a creature of habit, i like to feel in control of things and when it doesn't, it pisses me off. i know i sound really spoilt and what not... but hey, this is just me. if you don't like it, then move on... i won't hold it against you.

there are a couple of things that has been bugging me lately, but i'm not the sort to express it out by blogging about it (although i find blogging extremely therapheutic for me!) i just don't go all soapy, emotional and decide to express it all out here, i'm more of a... how shall i say this, prefer expressing it by talking to a friend or just driving around town and cursing at every single 'mofo' to make me feel better, but don't worry i ain't no road bully... if you're wondering!

so yeah, just bare with me yip-yapping! not getting to the point... i'm just looking forward to the weekend, so that we're able to spend some quality time together, and meet up with our friends! i guess that'd cheer me up.

ergh. i really hate this!! shit!

i wonder if you know that feeling, when someone says something to you, and you're so tempted to say something back to them out of spite?! but in this particular situation, i just had to bite my tounge, i guess to the point where i could taste blood! i could not say anything not because i didn't want to, its because i can't cause it will blow our of proportion. fuck.

i know its best that i let it slide. everytime this happens it just drives me crazy. i'm just hoping this phase would be a short one! seriously. i'm at the point of loathing already.

listening to: love is colder than death by the virgins - ms. bani i think you might like this song, check em out ok?

title-less

just heard a great news from down under! my girl friend gave birth to a baby girl who weights a tiny 2.7kgs at 420a.m. alhamdulillah! happy for her... 'congratulations darling! you have a beautiful journey ahead of you..."

i believe its 1-2 weeks earlier than expected.

had a lovely afternoon yesterday, auntie lala came by and we had our updates and all, then uncle hadi joined for a short period of time too! yes lovelies, soon we'll go to ss2 yeah? or you can always tapau! hihi, as planned.

aira was cranky last night for a short period of time, then she slept at 11p.m. after mommy nagged! hubs was laughing and said, "haaa... finally mommys nagging or shall i say, kena marah ngan mommy..." i wasn't angry, i was sleepy.

as i was feeding her, i feel asleep with my mouth wide open! and hubs laughed at me... haha... yes i should feel all kinds of silly but i was tired and sleepy, can you blame me? :P

i didn't have much to do today, but i had loads on my mind. too many questions remained unanswered. you know the usuals, life, doubts, friends, work and everything else... sometimes thinking too much doesn't get you anywhere, but cloudier/cluttered/messier!

thinking i should be de-cluttering my mind this weekend, suggestions?

activities

thurs 20.11.08

decided to have dins @ delicious with hubs and we've been wanting to buy storybooks to read to her before her bedtime. as we arrived at the restaurant, aira was wide awake and i was worried she might be bored and just decides to scream on top of her lungs, *for fun* but after ordering and all, we observed and she seemed pretty fine. hubs decided to take this opportunity to carry and distract her with by showing her the lights! yes, ladies and gents! she is easily fascinated with lights and fans! cheap huh?

cool eh?

we managed to enjoy our dins without gobbling the food down our throats. according to this book that i'm reading, 'what to expect in the first year' everything you eat now becomes fast food, even if its steak, all new parents would have mastered just shoving everything down their throat! then we headed to parkson, and hubs made his way to mph. he bought the usual classics: little red riding hood, the little pigs and goldilocks & the three bears!

then i got a book by gina ford, contented babies & toddlers! apparently, if you'd like to train your little ones to sleep from 7p.m. - 7a.m. this would be the best for you to follow! it's proven, my girl friend has trained both of her daughters since a day old. impressive.

got home, and prepped the little one, hubs managed to read to her and finally fed her! my-oh-my the excitement in his face was totally priceless! i was so happy. we all slept like a baby right after :)

fri 21.11.08

as i was about to put the little one to sleep, hubs stormed into the room and told us about the great news! remember i said we were waiting for the great news regarding our anchor client? YEAY, indeed its been fulfilled! that means we'd have to shift office to hire a couple of new artists! such a great news for us early in the morning.

did a little work here and there and then called it a day! hihi, yes my bosses would be thrilled to know i did that, but i couldn't help it. teehee.

sat 22.11.08

woke up early today, i was excited because we were bringing aira for her first music class! but she was still asleep, then i got a message from my mom saying that they were going to drop by to see aira for a bit. as they walked in they saw aira smiling and laughing to barney's song 'i love you'... hihi, it was so cute.

mom wanted to bathe her, so she quickly took out her watch and rings and everything else! that was even cuter. after she was done, she carried aira for less than a minute til aira screamed! expressing her frustrations!

haha, mom was arguing with her, "hey, i just showered you and cleaned your pampers and all, by the time i'm done, i'm not even allowed to hold you? you just want to go straight to your mommy? why, aira?" .... "okay you go... go now to your mother!"

i could not believe my ears, my daughter and my mother arguing! haha...

then as i was feeding her, my dad was talking to me... even then she expressed that she wasn't happy. she grumbled.

by the time we got to the class she was asleep, had only been asleep for the last 15 minutes or so... we started the class, and we were introduced to the bunny called 'toffee'! furry and cute.

the instructor was trying to intoduce these things to see if any of the children had any fear of furry things! it's called "doraphobia" the class was all about singing, listening, hand and eye co-ordination, playing instruments, learning to sign and more. it was even educational for me!

the instructor knows each names of the little ones, and manages to identify their likes and dislikes, and you can even seek for advice from her. how to keep the little one busy or how to train them to sign, or sing, or gain their attention.

totally enjoyed our 45 minutes class! another great way for parents to bond and spend quality time with thier little ones! instead of bringing them to the mall and call it quality time.

for those interested to know more bout the class, click here. it's worth a try!

hope

eeek! aira was behaving like an adult, refusing to sleep! she tidur-tidur ayam only today.

still no progress on her letting others carry her, maid managed to carry and sing to her for a good 15 minutes and then it was all shot down! then she made her own music, cried and cried and cried. boo.

not feeling flattered though, i wish she would be an easy one to get along with everyone and be the sweet baby that she is!

*hoping that it's just a phase* crossing my fingers!

blardy hell!

i'm so damn fucken pissed off!

you know la, issues with the maid! see how i've changed my tone and choice of word? from helper - maid.

at 430 a.m. as i was feeding aira, hubs woke up *due to stiff neck* and told me when i was asleep, the maid had called him at 1130 to ask him to open the front door! he was like WTF? okay opened it and questioned her...

how come you were out of the house at this hour?

she looked up with her pale face, i... i... i... was out with a friend we went to centre point. (wow, the nerve!) main gila ok!

kept on bombarding her with questions, she stood there with her sulky face, according to hubs. he then ignored and stormed off.

this morning as i asked her to get aira's hot water all ready, i prepped aira so i could bathe her instead, my maid ask do i do it? or you're doing it? i looked and said, I'LL DO IT! she was about to leave the room, thinking she could get away with murder... i said stop, i want to talk to you.

i did not raise my voice, but made sure i was stern, but in my mind i was actually performing the 'stone-cold-stunner' move on her, bloody hell. i made it VERY clear, all i asked was that, you came here to carik duit halal so you could send to your son, and you're doing this... tsk tsk tsk... and then i said, if you're not interested to work, there's an easy way out, you just have to let me know! she was almost in tears, *don't show me your crocodile tears laaa!* told her the damage has been done... you really betrayed me.

see people, its no point treating the maids nicely in the end they screw you over! i never denied her wants to go on her monthly leave despite me having an infant, i let her be... and there's no gratitude what so ever.

anyway, enough about her. i'm glad aira's colic is slowly being treated by consuming the pro-biotic! seriously love the doctor. he knows his shit.

serves me right

my lil girl refuses anyone who tries to carry her. a new trick she picked up. *just wondering how can a 2 month old even know this? *scratching my head!

been letting the helper play and bathe her, so that they get acquainted but after all that, she still screams and just simply rejects!

i'm in deep do-do! i guess it serves me right huh? (trynna be over protective summore, it's nicely biting me in the ass)

looking for ways to rectify this problem... help! as there are events that i won't be able to drag her with.

praying to god its just a phase.